Bridesmaids and Bestmen

Choosing your attendants can sometimes be a difficult process.
What if your groom has five bestmen, but you only have three bridesmaids?
What if you don't like your maid of honor three months after you asked her?
What if your attendants can't afford their wedding outfits?
What if your attendants aren't supporting you throughout the planning process?
The list can go on and on.
Here are some helpful hints to get those dead beat attendants motivated or otherwise.

#1. If you have asked someone to be your attendant, you cannot uninvite them. It is a breach of etiquette and in very poor taste. If you have asked them to be your maid of honor or other attendant, then you are stuck with your choice. You cannot go back on your word. But what if they aren't supporting you or worse yet, saying things behind your back?
Invite the offender out to lunch and lay it on the line---ask them why the breakdown in communications. What can you do to fix it? Ask them to step up to the task. You will be glad that you talked it out.

#2. Only ask those attendants who can afford to be a part of your wedding. It would be impolite and an imposition to ask someone to stand up with you knowing that they were financially strapped. If you really want them to be a part, then be prepared to pay for their clothes and other incidentals.

#3. If your groom has three bestmen and you only have two, resist the temptation to add a third just for the sake of a balance in pictures. First of all, your photographer, if he is any good, will make sure that your pictures turn out perfect. By asking another person just to even the "line" would be a grave mistake. The other will know that you asked just for "pictures sake" and it will cause hard feelings. A wedding is no place to air grievances. cause hardships or hard feelings. Be a better person and always error on the side of right.

#4. If your attendants are not helping you, then maybe it is because you have not delegated tasks for them to perform. Ask in a loving and nice way, then stand back and let them help. Don't micromanage or fuss over their performance. You would be surprised what people can do when they know it is important to someone else.

Treat your attendants like you would like to be treated. Be sweet and considerate. You are asking them to spend quite a bit of their money on your wedding. Be gracious and respectful of their feelings as well. Not only will you have great wedding attendants and help, but you will also be creating life-long friends and memories.