Friday

Wedding Do's and Don'ts




A while ago, I was asked to put together some Wedding Do's and Don'ts for an area newpaper post.  While I am sure that I posted them here, it is a good idea to post them again, since there are always new engagements.

Your wedding will be one of the most important days of your life.  Don't settle for less than what you truly want.  You can have what you want, you just have to know what the "want" is; which should be that your guests remember your graciousness and love. Throughout all the planning that you will encounter, there are important things to remember; for without them, your wedding will not be the beautiful event that you hoped for.  At the end of the night, it is not the flowers or the favors, or the food or even the music that will be the most remembered - it will be the feeling and the love that flowed from you to your guests.

Wedding Do’s and Don’ts

1. Do set a budget.   Weddings are expensive! There are wedding clothes to buy, food to have catered, a reception venue to rent, photography and music to purchase, a videographer to hire, and all sorts of odds and ends that soon eat into your finances. Pretty soon you’re wondering if there will ever be an end to the demands on your checkbook!  Sitting down at the beginning of your wedding planning and making a budget is important, but sticking to your budget throughout the planning months is the smartest thing you can do!
Are the plastic vials of bubbles worth it when you have to cut back on your food choices for your guests? Making wise and realistic choices for your wedding ceremony and reception is very important to the overall success of your wedding.

DO set a realistic and workable wedding budget early on.  DON’T go into debt! Starting your marriage with thousands of dollars in credit card bills is not a great way to marriage harmony!



2. Do keep the marriage and reasons for your wedding in mind.   Why are you getting married? There could be a variety of reasons, but I think that most of you will agree that you are getting married because you love each other. Can’t live without the other; want to spend the rest of your life with that one special person; they are wonderful; perfect for you; cute and handsome; pretty and smart; beautiful and talented; I could go on and on.  In short, you have found your soul-mate!  Therefore, would your soul mate swear at you for forgetting to call the linen colors in three minutes ago?  Would your soul mate throw a tantrum because you ordered peach-colored roses instead of blush, sunset light apricot-color?  Gosh, what happened to the innocent, sweet, wonderful person you asked to be your life partner?

Weddings have a way of bringing out the worst in some people. Relatives have been known to sever family relationships because of wedding disagreements; couples have been known to part ways because they saw a side of their intended that they had not seen before.  DO keep your love for each other and why you are actually getting married in the fore front of your mind during the wedding planning process; DON’T buy into all of the hype!  "Don't sweat the small stuff," becuase at the end of the day, the peach colored roses didn't really matter, did they?



Image courtesy of Drescher Photo and Design
 3. Do give all family members a place of honor at your wedding.  One of the very worst things you can do at your wedding is to invite family members from both sides and then elevate one side over another. Ouch! What kind of message are you sending?  Choosing sides does not make for a harmonious marriage beginning!  If you invite both sets of grandparents and are having your side sit in a place of honor at the reception, then you had better be doing the same for your fiancé’s grandparents. If you order corsages for your family members, his family members receive the same and vice versa. A wedding is not the place to air out your personal vendettas. At a wedding, everyone is equal and needs to be treated as such. This is an occasion for celebration and love; not a staging ground for causing fights and hard feelings.

DO give all family members a place of honor.  DON’T use your wedding to prove a point or air your grudges.



4. Do make a plan.  Wedding time lines are perfect un-paid secretaries and necessary for all couples to follow if they want a successful and joyous engagement. Timelines are called that for a reason; they help you note the tasks that need to be done in the allotted time you have for planning your wedding.  Setting up a timeline---a wedding checklist---helps to know what needs to be done when. They are indispensable for reminding you when to book your reception venue, when your tuxedos need to be ordered, and when to give your final head count to the caterer. Set a timeline and follow it to stay on track for the big day.

Don’t forget to be flexible. Change can be good when we embrace it for what it is. You are undoubtedly going to run into obstacles, unrelenting vendors, or some other type of wedding calamity at some point along your wedding planning. Learning to be flexible and going with the flow, will save you much heartache down the road. Who knows, you may end up with something much better!
DO make a plan; know when to follow through and stick to your guns, but know when to back off and accept an alternative.  DON’T be afraid of change.


Image courtesy of bluesquirrel.com

5. Do enjoy your wedding day!  You have planned for months. Saved every penny you could for your dream wedding. You have worked with vendors, family, and friends. You have had everyone tell you to do it their way, when you just wanted it done your way. You have sat through countless taste-testings, dress fittings, photographer’s picture books, and invitation styles. You had to make sure that the florist ordered enough flowers for your cake, you had to find a way to ask your aunt Betty to please not sing at your wedding, and you have had to shop with your mom more than you ever have before; but you have survived it all. This is your wedding day. Congratulations!

Guess what? This day is not all about you! Oh, the ceremony is---When you are walking up the aisle all eyes will be on you. During the ceremony, every person in the room is listening to you as a couple recite your vows to each other. But the very minute you say I do, turn to face the audience and the minister announces, “I present Mr. and Mrs. .....” that is the moment that the day ceases to be about you! 

You have invited guests to witness this perfect day. You have asked them to travel long distances, buy new clothes, pay for hotel rooms, dining out, and bring a wedding gift to your reception. How are you going to treat them? Please treat your guests as the treasured family and friends that they are. Give them a great time. Laugh with them, talk to them, dance with them. Don’t send them home wondering why they came; do send them home with joyous and warm memories of the very best party they have ever attended.  This is your first party as man and wife that you are hosting. Don’t you want it to be a memorable one?

DO have a great wedding!   DON’T forget about your guests!


Ben and Cassie 2009


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